Waterfall
by meekaelaela
Summary: A waterfall of words about love, heartbreak, and everything in between.
1. Love Sucks

"Moving on is difficult. But, you know what, it doesn't matter how quickly you get over someone. There's nothing wrong with letting go of their memory little by little. Forward is forward, after all."

Those are the same words I've been telling myself and the people close to me for the last year and a half.

I don't know when the hope that came with those words got lost, though.

What I do know is that it gets really frustrating when you realize how little you've moved forward within a given amount of time. From wondering about her every morning and wondering if she's wondering about you too, you start to wonder if you'll ever not think about her.

You'll start to wonder if you'll ever feel your stomach rumbling without having to remember the countless hours you've spent debating over what kind of food you want for dinner. Or how despite you trying to hold your ground, you end up letting her get what she wants, anyway. You'll wonder why even after all this time, every little thing reminds you of her. Why it's still so weird to do alone the things you used to do together.

Then, you'll try to forget. You'll force yourself to look at someone else the way you looked at her. To care for someone else the same way you cared for her. It'll get her off of your mind for awhile, but it usually never lasts. Because as much as you want them to be, they're not her.

Soon, you'll be back right where you started. Pining over someone you so badly want to leave in the past. You'll tell yourself, "Take your time. It doesn't matter how long it takes. You'll get there." But, this time, you'll believe it less because nothing seems to have changed. You're still stuck in that same loop of hating yourself for staying in love with someone who isn't in your life anymore, and wishing for her to come back.

It's funny. I didn't want this, you know? I never thought love was in the cards for me. But then, she came around, unwittingly changing everything I thought I knew about myself.

I guess the Universe just has a knack of throwing shit at people when they think they've had it all figured out.

Well, you've had your fun, Universe. I'm never falling for that trap ever again.

Besides, I'm probably never gonna get over her, so that's that.

Yep. Love sucks.

* * *

 **Who is "she," you ask? Well, that is up to you. It could be Maggie, Sam, or someone completely different. I'm leaving that to your imagination.**

 **Honestly, this is just me going with the flow of my thoughts. This was originally written as creative nonfiction, but it kinda feels like it's Alex's life story, too. I plan on turning this into a series of short angsty pieces, if anybody's interested.**


	2. Hey

**Again, I will leave it to you to decide who you think every chapter is about. Simply state in a review or message who you think the chapter is about and why. In return, I'll tell you who I think suits each piece the best and why. As stated, the first chapter was Alex. As for this one, what do you think?**

* * *

Hey, you.

I love you.

It's probably the last thing you ever want to hear from me, and I promise you, you never will. Not when it might cost me you.

I mean, you're you, and I'm... me.

Let's face it. On paper, we're perfect together. But, the truth is I want you, but you'll never want me.

Not when you can have anybody you want. Not when you're the type of person everybody wants.

It's overwhelming, how I feel about you. It's the greatest and most terrifying thing I have ever felt. I can feel you to the tips of my fingers and toes.

You're a drug I can never quit.

Well, that is unless _you_ force me to quit you.

It's all-consuming, the way I feel about you. Your eyes, I look for in the crowd. Your hair, in a sea of people. Your voice, in a room filled with meaningless noise.

It's you whom I look for when I'm ecstatic or devastated. It's you whom I look for when I need to be weak.

And you, you always let me find you. You laugh with me, you cry with me. You let me be weak.

 _I let myself fall._

But you'll _never_ feel the same way.

And I could never hate you for making me feel this way, because I brought us to this point. Not you, me.

I want to tell you, but I _never_ could.

I want to be more than just your friend, but that's all I'll ever be.

I'll be whatever you want me to be. Just don't leave me.


End file.
